I've been on a few teams now with daily standups, first thing in the morning. Always feels weird to me and like most days I have disappointing result to report - all because I tend to work kind of burstily.

Like, I might go days without any progress to show in terms of code building. Then, one day I show up with a half-dozen pull requests from a bout of hyperfocus after the gears in my head have had awhile to turn.

If you take my productivity over a month, maybe it looks about average. But, it comes in lurches and long spans of wheel-spinning in between.

On the worst-feeling teams, I've had folks jump in and schedule pairing sessions with me after a few of these standups - as if the lulls in contribution signal that I'm in trouble and need a hand.

For me, pairing only delays the sessions of flow state where I tend to get things done. But, I feel like I'm shirking some duty by not accepting the meetings, since every one else seems to like coding with a buddy.

This stuff feels hard to explain when I'm in a group of folks who seem to just cruise along with even progress, having fun hanging out together.

@bhearsum Maybe we need a special club, but it only meets between sprints :thinkhappy:

Also, I think pairing doesn't often work for me, because my headspace doesn't seem to function well for certain tasks with most people in an immediate social loop.

There's ever present social anxiety, which demands a lot of energy spent on masking. And then, when I get in a groove, my thinking goes very non-linear. I have to pull back & slow down to reorder and narrativize. It can be good for some tasks, but most times it just takes all the air out of my sails and spends all my spoons.

Maybe it's the ADHD? Maybe I just haven't paired with the right folks? Either way, I've very rarely gotten into a flow state with another person.

@randomgeek Yeah, and I've had folks tell me "meetings are work too" on many occasions. Which is true, but it's totally different set of mental device drivers

@twobraids Oof, the whole day to recover from a meeting. That's where I'm usually at :blobsad:

@rose Can confirm that a hacked 3DS is a beautiful thing and surprisingly easy to bring about

@miah I got an invite too! It’s very pretty and I have no clue what I’m doing

@benbrown is this like when i used to see tetris pieces falling whenever i closed my eyes?

@benbrown Applying tetris skills to tasks around the household seems less fraught than applying fortnite skills

@mhoye @jamiemccarthy@mastodon.social In other news, there's a part of me disturbed by the computing power in modern cables connecting what most folks colloquially refer to as "computers" and "peripherals"

@aud (whispering) we've been trying to reach you about your gametes' extended warranty

@aud The funny part is that the cells aren't actually a part of the cure, the researcher just has some weird hobbies and needs motivation

@jbaty Is this like burning the boats at the shore so there's no way back?

Had a dream that I got a Framework laptop and built a compact paper tape reader as a slot-in expansion module

@weaver Now I'm picturing the girl from Jurassic Park going "this is an IBM 3090, I know this!"

@aud Many condolences, I can't think of a time when docusign got involved that sparked joy

Have had a song stuck in my head for a few days now but I can remember neither the words nor name nor artist. Beat boxing at Shazam was ineffective

Just got a notification from Apple health that I’ve had shorter workouts on average lately. And I’m like, good to know, jerk.

@earthshine That helps for the inevitable day when you want to walk into the forest, never to return

@maddiefuzz :ablobgrimace:​ don't :ablobgrimace:​ be shocked :ablobgrimace:​ by the tone :ablobgrimace:​ of my voice :ablobgrimace:​ it's the weapon of choice :blobthump:​

(i tried not to do it)